The day I met my idol: Daniel Johns / Silverchair

Anyone who has ever had a true idol can and likely will appreciate this story. This is the biggest story of my life and I never pass up an opportunity to tell the tale of how I met and interviewed my idol, my hero, Daniel Johns.

This is long. Don't say I didn't warn you!

In an attempt to be both deep and lame, I’ve always dubbed 'Silverchair’s discography' as 'my biography'. There was just such an uncanny coincidence with the release of their albums, what the songs on the albums were about and what I happened to be going through in my life at that point as far as anguish and sorrow went. I don’t want to make it as if I was a miserable and depressed kid. I was extremely jovial with a great sense of joie-de-vivre, but like many young adolescents and teenagers, I had my dark moments where I found myself huffy; angry, insurgent and maybe feeling a little maddened. You know, "Oh woe is me!" Ah, us teenage girls.
As I grew, so did Daniel as a songwriter; a composer. All of the band's albums were relative to me from the innocent age of 12 up into my early twenties.

Though the gritty guitar rifs were fitting once upon a time, they eventually lost their grip on me. They never lost their meaning, as you can never disconnect yourself from yourself at any point in time or era, but once I reached my early twenties I was looking for something more.
I was 20 years old when Diorama was released in 2002; when Silverchair did something that no one thought could be done.

They became...happy.

The sound of the album was completely different from anything Silverchair had ever, ever done before. Silverchair worked with composer Van Dyke Parks to construct numerous orchestral arrangements and power ballads. The post-grunge influence on previous work was replaced with highly complex song structures complete with string and horn ensembles. It was epic. To put it plainly and simply, the songs on this album were just extremely colourful, hopeful and heavenly.
I had taken a job as a data entry clerk when I was 21 years old and in college, studying journalism. The 'data entry' position was for Norris-Whitney Communications, which is the publisher of four renowned Canadian music industry magazines: Canadian Musician, Canadian Music Trade, Professional Lighting and Professional Sound. It was the perfect opportunity to get my foot in the door. There was nothing else I wanted to do with my Journalism diploma but write in the music industry. If that wasn't going to happen, I was going to accept the fact that I'd wasted thousands of dollars, two years of my time and move on. But, I wasn't going to go down without a fight; without trying my best. Little did I know I’d not only achieve that, but I’d also encounter the biggest accomplishment of my life at the young age of 21.

I shared an office with my Editor. I’d been telling him that Silverchair had announced tour dates to promote Diorama, and that they announced not one, but TWO Toronto dates – a Friday and a Saturday night. My friends and I purchased tickets for both nights, of course.

That was when my Editor then suggested an interview with Daniel for Canadian Musician.
I laughed, but he wasn’t kidding. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I obviously encouraged the idea. He claimed that he could likely only get me a telephone interview. Yeah, "only" a telephone interview with Daniel Johns. Oh, the travesty. As if I had it in my cards to ever be in the same room as him...

Silverchair’s Canadian Representative was at Warner Music. My Editor put in a call, but the Rep was away on vacation for a few weeks, and the show was only a month away. (Insert: sad trumpet sound.)
But hey, it was really cool that my Editor was considerate enough to try. I was happy with that alone. I mean geez, I was a small town girl. I didn’t expect anything big to ever happen to me. I figured my one and only “famous encounter" would have been Fred Penner when he played at Centennial High School when I was six years old.

OH, FRED!

It was a Tuesday afternoon. In fact, it was the Tuesday before ‘Silverchair Weekend’. I was sitting in my office typing up an article when my Editor got a phone call from Warner Music.
I listened in like a little creeper, almost knocking over the partition in our office.

“Cambridge Suites Hotel, 2 p.m. Saturday. Okay, that’s great. Thanks for getting back.”
I didn’t know what to think. Why did he mention a hotel?
I poked my head up over my office partition like a freaking prairie dog and asked, “What was that?”

“You’re meeting Daniel Johns.”

 

 

My heart dropped into my stomach, and well, my stomach nearly dropped into my pants - you know what I mean, Jean?

The entire feeling was quite surreal. I thought my initial reaction would have involved some tears, possibly some hyperventilating like a pre-teen at a Hanson concert (I would know, lol) but no. I was mostly numb. I was bearing a huge goofy grin, but I was in complete and utter shock.

I couldn’t believe it up until that Saturday, when I woke up with a pounding headache as well as bruised and cracked ribs from Silverchair’s show the night before where I spent the entire night in the front row being smashed and thrown against the barricade.
Sidenote: I hate supersized crowd surfers.

I arrived in Toronto for 1 p.m. For the entire drive up, I sat in quiet contemplation...
What if he’s a dick to me? What if he thinks my questions are stupid? What if he doesn’t answer my questions properly and I walk away with nothing to work with? WHAT IF HE’S A DICK TO ME??

I was terrified that Daniel Johns would be a douche. I mean, it would ruin everything he'd ever been to me, you know?

You see, the thing about Daniel Johns was that his persona was almost impossible to identify. In some interviews he was unresponsive – like he didn’t want to be there. In other interviews, he’d make snarky comments following dumb questions. Yet sometimes he’d come off as eloquent and polite. Even in performances, his attitude would vary. Sometimes he was down to business, and other times, he was hammered, silly and seemed like the kind of guy you'd want to share a few beers with. So basically, despite following Silverchair for as long as I had, I had absolutely NO idea what to expect as far as his personality went. I had no idea what to expect from him that day, with me.

I approached the Hotel by foot at around 1:45 p.m. This is when my heart started slamming the inside of my chest like a sledgehammer. I hoped it would calm down, because if it didn’t, I figured he’d most definitely hear it.
There were some fans standing around knowing full well that Silverchair had been staying there. Obviously they were waiting to catch a glimpse, and obviously in my head the infamous Nelson "HAW-haw!" chimed through my head. If they only knew where I was headed ;)

I made my way to the lobby where I was to meet with the Rep from Warner Music and sat down. The décor was very 1990s. The couches were sea foam green and the exaggerated patterns on the carpet burned my eyes with dusty rose and teal swirls. A concierge smiled and nodded at me from behind the counter. I smirked as I swallowed the lump in my throat.

A nerdy looking middle-aged man entered the lobby, literally out of nowhere, and sat across from me. He was on his cell phone and was going over some paperwork attached to a clip board. When his conversation ended, he looked up at me and smiled.
“Are you Rob from Warner Music?” I asked.
He sure was.
He extended his hand and shook mine.

We engaged in some small talk and learned that we grew up a town over from one another. The “it’s such a small world!” feel to our conversation really put me at ease. As we laughed, a tall, rugged middle aged man joined us. He seemed to have already met Rob. Rob introduced us by first name only, but it didn’t take me very long to figure out who he was once he started speaking. I knew he’d looked familiar, and the Australian accent confirmed my assumption. It was John Watson, Silverchair’s manager since their beginning in 1995.
He sat next to me on the ugly pastel couch and we engaged in some good conversation. He was extremely down to earth. He brought up Silverchair’s latest album, Diorama, and what made me feel extremely confident and amazing was that every opinion or thought I had on the album, he excitedly agreed with.
While lost in conversation with Silverchair’s manager, the elevator light lit up and chimed. The gaudy golden mirrored elevator doors slid open, and out came Ben Gillies (drummer) and Chris Joannou (bassist). WHAT?!

I had no idea that I was going to meet them, too.

John Watson launched himself off of the couch and rushed over to the two, explaining that he was going to take them to a separate room for their own interview, which was different from Daniel’s. He then looked over at me and nodded for me to go over.
I somehow managed to fight the jellies in my knee caps and made my way over to them and was introduced. We all shook hands. They were incredibly polite!

As Rob (Warner Music) and John (Manager) led Ben and Chris out of the lobby to their interview, I sat back down and shook my head in disbelief, laughing with myself. Well dip me in honey & tie me to an ant hill – this is actually happening.

I had become comfortable with the silence in the lobby at that point. It was just me, my natural high on happiness and the humming of the fluorescent lights above me. I was able to digest everything and coax myself to believe that this was all going to be a piece of cake because so far, so good!

But then...

The elevator light went on again and chimed; my stomach turned. As my eyes slowly shifted in that direction, the gold-plated doors slid open like pearly gates and there he was, Daniel Johns, in all MY glory.

I didn’t know what to do. Where is Rob? Where is John? Where am I? What is happening??

Our eyes met as he walked by. He smiled and nodded, “Hello!”
I said "Hi" back in the tone of a complete tool, I’m sure.
He disappeared for about 20 seconds looking for his manager.

When Rob and Daniel came back into the lobby, I stood up and took on my mission: be cool.

“Daniel, this is Dana. She’ll be interviewing you today.”
He smiled and said shyly, “Hi Dana.”
We shook hands, and I went white. I felt it.
Oh God, he knows I exist.

His fair blonde shag fell around his meek face very neatly. He was wearing a pair of aviator shades with one of the lenses popped out. He looked like a pirate, but he’s Daniel Johns; he’s allowed to do that. His minty green eye peered out from the empty frame; his lashes streaked with dark mascara. His skin was perfect. Dangit, he was freaking pretty.
With his worn-out looking jeans, he wore a baby blue collared shirt underneath a taupe blazer. On his blazer, he wore a “NO FUR” pin. Poor pretty vegan doesn't eat bacon. Even Daniel Johns had faults, I guess.

Rob led us to the lounge. We picked a table and sat down. The table was so small that I could have reach over and poked him in the face. I should have. Haha. Imagine? A little "boop" on his nose.

Instead, I got down to business.

I asked him a bunch of questions about song-writing. What comes first, the lyrics or the melody? What is your favourite instrument to write music on? Which song on Diorama are you most proud of? Which do you feel closest to? Etc.
He was very genuine and polite. He answered all of my questions very thoroughly and honestly. Some of his answers just made me love and admire hime more.
He was very shy. He’d smile or giggle nervously at times, and he covered his mouth a lot which I found odd since he had an immaculate set of teeth. Regardless, he was just so...nice. It was such a relief.

After the interview, which was absolutely the quickest twenty minutes of my life, I thanked him and shook his hand. Rob came back and I asked Daniel if I could get Rob to take a photo of us together. He was happy to. We did the stereotypical fan/celebrity pose with one arm around the other. As I packed my things, they discussed getting coffee before heading over to 102.1 The Edge for Silverchair’s radio station interview at 3:30 p.m. As Daniel went to exit the room, he stopped and turned back. “Hey Dana, thank you!”
My heart melted into a puddle of goo. Like a total dork, I responded, “Oh, thank YOU. I’ll be at the show tonight! Have fun!”
WOMPwomp. Lol. What the hell!? Have fun? Facepalm. Eugh.

To be honest, I didn’t even attend the show that night. I was so sore and tired from the night before, not to mention emotionally/mentally drained. I just wanted to go home, lay on my bed and replay the dream that wasn’t a dream after all.

On the way home, I tuned into 102.1 The Edge to listen to the interview. I was thrilled to hear all of the ridiculous and lame questions the DJs were asking him. Stuff about his eating disorder, his terrible, life-threatening arthritis, his marriage...

It just made me happy to know that my interview earned his respect and earned me some  great answers to work with.

Success!

And just because - here is my absolute favourite performance of Silverchair's.
If you don't want to watch the entire thing, (though it's a gorgeous performance and I encourage you to!) at least check out from 7:06 minutes in to 7:59. HIS. VOICE.

Bullying: I still ask why...

I've been thinking about Amanda Todd and her story since I read about it yesterday.

I remember how bullying went when I was in school. It seems like nothing compared to how it is today. I mean, it can't be downplayed; it's all relative. But with online social media in the mix, things are not only getting worse, but completely out of control. The statistics for teen suicides related to bullying are upsetting and speak for themselves.
When sitting behind a monitor without eye contact or emotional consequence, mockery and abuse are heightened to obviously damaging degrees. It's the perfect set-up for the coward that the bully truly is and there is seemingly no filter. Also consider that this mockery and abuse isn't only heard and seen by those who happened to "be there", but thanks to how quickly news travels through social media - friends see it, friends of friends, family members, team mates, the list goes on. The humiliation is ten-fold and that much harder to hide from and move on from.

This subject came up a few weeks ago at my roller derby practice. I asked, "What are teachers doing in schools to help prevent bullying?" A mother responded with, "Absolutely nothing. They don't do anything."
Another mother agreed.

Well, that's awesome.

I just point my fingers at teachers before parents because, unless someone is home schooled, teachers spend 30 hours of the week not only with these kids, but with bullies and victims intermingled. It's simple - they are there to see it and overhear it if they make themselves as present as they should be. I mean, I don't expect teachers to catch everything, but with the rate of how things are going and the statistics I can't help but ask (pardon my French, but..)... What the fuck?
I'm not a teacher, I'm not even a Mother, and this issue tears me apart. Am I being hypersensitive or.. ?

This is not me meaning to shit on teachers, so teacher friends of mine, please don't take it that way. I'm sure you feel the same way as I do and I'm sure that it's a little more complicated to get programs going and getting funding and what not but...at what point does the light go on? How many child/teen suicides will it take for teachers/principals to say, "Hey, maybe we should implement some serious school-based bullying programs?"

When I was in high school, we used to have rallies and assemblies for MADD. They used to show us graphic photos and sound clips of drinking and driving scenarios or victims who did not make it. Yeah, it definitely scared the shit out of us and ruined our day, but it made an impact for the most part. Sadly, there is enough video footage out there, along with photos of victims of suicide due to bullying, to put together a rally/assembly about it. Cases from 2012 alone could deliver quite the impact. Show kids the harsh reality behind bullying.

Some suggest tougher laws and better enforcement. Well, sad to say but, Ontario/Canada needs to look at a lot of areas when it comes to this, so suggesting this is a pipe dream at it's finest I'm sure.

Other suggest better parental monitoring of kid's online activities. Eeesh, I can imagine that being a lot easier said than done. There is a way around everything on the Internet now.

This is why to me, it always comes back onto the school system. Most of it happens within your walls, most of it happens withing your reach. Also, peers. What are you doing about it? Don't be a bystander. I was one once and I haven't forgotten about it. It still eats at me - even years later. Why didn't I do something? I honestly hate myself for it sometimes and yeah, I feel like a knob for preaching about anti-bullying when there was that one time in my life where I could have done something and didn't. I think that maybe a lot of my hurt and frustration comes from that incident, in a sense.

I'll be the first to jump at the next chance, believe me.

A bad case of segre-gay-tion.

So this is happening..

Gay-centric high school to be considered

 

 

 

Sigh.

When I read the article above, I see: segregation > anti-bullying.
Is it just me, or should the school system be putting a greater effort into anti-bullying and acceptance movements, planting that seed when kids are young and willing to listen, rather than segregating them? Doesn't that just cause more harm and more of a target? Wouldn't you rather children and/or teens grow to simply learn about and respect different lifestyles rather than focus on what's "different" or, as some may believe due to how they were brought up, "wrong"? I don't get it. Why can't we just teach kids to see human beings rather than draw thicker lines between every one? Talk about an attempt at social decline.
Can you imagine if there was a straight-only school? A white-only school? To me, this is just as discriminatory and encourages that frame of mind - that "different" belongs elsewhere.
I think segregation is a huge waste of time and money, and that schools should be focusing on the big picture - one of the main reasons for contemplating segregation in the first place: bullying. Especially because bullying isn't race, gender, sexuality or creed specific. Why do some seem to forget about that?

In addition, it puts kids in a difficult situation. What if a kid does presume he/she is homosexual, but isn't quite sure or, worse, not ready to come out by the time picking a high school comes around? Why put that pressure on someone so young? I mean really, it's ludicrous.

All of that, just so that everyone can amalgamate in College or University, the work place, etc. none the wiser. If anything, worse off.

Over the past few years it seems like a few ideas of segregation have been tossed around within the schooling system. Early last year, the idea of having a private school for students from low-income families was tossed around.

Why are we going back in time? I half want to scoff at these things, but then I realize that some people actually think that, even in present time, this is a valuable solution.

 Facepalm... all together now!

Okay. So maybe it's not fair of me to dismiss the opinions of those who legitimately feel that this sort of solution is a valuable one. I just...I don't see it. I've thought about it thoroughly from all sides and I just don't see how segregating people based on race, gender, sexuality or creed will make this world a better place. Yes, I'm also against schools segregated by religious beliefs. I did go to a Catholic high school, but I didn't know what I now know; I didn't see the world the way I do today.

Never forget: the soundtrack.

I've always associated music with memories and emotions. Certain songs just pick me up and bring me back to a time and/or place in a really powerful and vivid way. Example: Tears for Fears - Everybody Wants to Rule the World. This song takes me right back to being five years old in the summertime; sparkling and carefree. I guess that explains my obsession with 80s music. Nostalgia.
I'm not sure if, since becoming aware of this, I subconsciously set a marker in my brain so that years down the road a song will inevitably remind me of said time, or maybe I'm just that much of an observant and nostalgic person. I guess what I'm wondering is if it's voluntary? Natural? Hurrr...

Talk about over-thinking something that need not be over-thought!

I felt it important to draft up an actual "soundtrack" for this past summer and keep it on file; keep it somewhere safe. Attached to these songs are fond memories of everything this summer had to offer - adventures, travels, love, forging old bonds with old friends; forming new bonds with new friends. This summer was a "big deal" and holding onto it, as well as every memory and emotion attached, is important to me. Does this sound sappy? It's really not supposed to be. Well, not entirely.
I wanted a way to, in a sense, keep this past summer alive.

So, here it is.
Some songs new, some old, but all relevant.

Why I love being a Julep Maven.

I'm a true skeptic when it comes to "awesome deals" online. I read these deals in my head with that overzealous and cheese-ball "Guy Smiley" game show host voice. I'm always questioning a person or company's motives and doubting things I hear from customers. Yes, even the most satisfied customers. Call it smart shopping, call it paranoia, whatever it may be...

I recently embarked onto the Julep Maven train. A bunch of girlfriends and fellow bloggers of mine had been singing Julep's praises for about a year before I decided to give it a whirl.

Boy, am ever glad I did.

A friend of mine said it best today: Every time I get my monthly Julep package in the mail, even though I know it's coming, It's like my freaking birthday! I half-expect sirens to go off and glitter to shoot up in my face when opening the box...just to match my excitement.

Instead, I dance like the white fool I am.

Yeah, yeah!

Besides the fact that you have to treat yourself once in a while (and I'm definitely a person who forgets to do so), becoming a Julep Maven has tons of perks.

Why the polish is awesome:

• First and foremost, Julep products are toxin-free and do not test on animals. Their products do not contain carcinogens such as DBP, toluene, formaldehyde or formaldehyde resin.
• The polishes are long-lasting and chip-resistant.
• Polishes come with a flat brush with micro-frayed brush hairs resulting in an impeccable application. (With some colours, I find that the initial application appears to be slightly streaky - however, after two coats and a clear top coat, kiss any possible streaks goodbye. Flawless nails, ladies. No jokes).
• So. Many. Colours. Julep's colour wheel would put Joseph and his amazing technicolour shit coat to shame!

From classic colours to shades you would have never imagined; from neutrals to sparkles!

Why being a Julep Maven is awesome:

• First of all, your intro box upon signing up costs you $0.01. Yep - one cent. A shiny (or rusty) penny. I'm not kidding.
• After your intro box, for $19.99 a month (who sounds like Guy Smiley now?) you receive, at the very least, $40 worth of Julep products, if not more.
• You receive 20% off of all purchases in the Julep Maven Boutique
• Hello, FREE SHIPPING, just because you're a Maven! BOOM.
• Bonus treats and extra discounts all year long.
• Easy exchanges and returns.
• Excellent customer service (I once had a bottle of polish break upon taking it out of the box. I contacted Julep and they sent me a new bottle straight away, without hassle!)
• Here's an important one for me - no commitment. If I have to commit to rolling purchases for an extended period of time, I get freaked out. With Julep, you can cancel at any time and skip any month you'd like. Just let them know - it's that easy.
• Upon becoming a Maven, you get a referral link. For ever two referral you receive a free month! Two referrals aren't very hard to get, let me tell you.

Powered by girlfriends
They say it all best themselves. Here is Julep's story.


So that's that - the reason for my constant Julep pimping on Facebook. It's not only for referrals, but for my genuine excitement about this company and their promising products.

But seriously, if you're interested in trying it, click my referral link below ;)  

http://julep.com/?r=22972354

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Not the Playmates you should find at school.

I don't think there is a witty or creative way to ease into this one, so I'm just going to dive right in.

What the hell, Sears!?
Upon flipping through the Christmas Wishbook when it arrived on my doorstep last week (because I'm like, 12) I found this page:

 

All right, so it doesn't seem like a big deal at first. Having the Playboy Bunny logo plastered on merch is no shocker (hehe) but a few pages later, I had to flip back because...something seemed off. That's when I realized that this page was in the childrens 'wish' section amongst the Barbies and the Transformers. Also note the presumably "under 18" 'ness of the young girl toting the handbag around. Elementary school? I'm surprised she doesn't have big red duck lips with a sucker hanging out of them paired up with a seductive glare. I mean really, might as well! What kind of image or message is this?

I am by no means a prude (anyone who knows me knows that well enough!) but I love kids. I care about the well-being of kids, and pardon my French but...this is just fucking mortifying to me.

Not to date myself, but I remember writing an article for my College paper ten years ago (okay, I just dated myself) about young girls seemingly loosing their innocence way too young (and that was back then). More young girls, not even out of elementary school yet, seemed to be dressing far too promiscuous for their ages. I mean, "promiscuity" and "elementary school" just shouldn't even be in the same friggin' sentence. But there they were in public, at the mall or the park, clad in jogging pants with the word "Juicy" written across their bums. "Juicy". Referring to your Capri Sun? Didn't think so.

A part of me was really hoping that this would change and that not only parents, but marketing reps and companies would find their common sense...but that was a pipe dream. Herp derp.

Where did who go wrong and when? I mean Christ, when I was 12 years old, "sexy" was only in the movies. When I was 12 years old, I was eating Cheez Whiz sandwiches and watching Family Matters.

And I'm sorry, but you can only blame pop stars to a certain extent. Is it really an excuse? I grew up in the Madonna era - you didn't see me walking around holding ice cream cones to my non-boobs! (Well, knowing me I probably did, but in a facetious way).

I digress.

Yes, sex sells, but can somebody please tell companies (like Sears) that there is still an "age appropriate" thing to consider when it comes to that?

Some actually argue: It's just a bunny. It's just a logo.

Yes, so is the Swastika.

A logo represents something, and when someone wears that logo, it is in support for that thing - whether it be sports, politics, brands, etc. I mean, as a Habs fan, I would never wear a Bruins logo and claim, "Who cares? It's just a logo!" Haha. YEAH, NO.

There is a representation thing there. The Playboy Bunny is a universally known logo for Playboy. The vector-like profile, the bow-tie - everyone knows it for exactly what it is. It does not symbolize a love for bunnies. It symbolizes sex and objectifying women. As a parent, I would hope that you wouldn't want your child representing this. You have to wonder why companies like Sears would think differently?

If the world is seriously spinning into this ignorant of a direction, I'm going to seem like an old-school Nazi Mom one day, with my kids clad in Superhero t-shirts. Poor things.

Awkward moments define my life.

It's not so much that I'm an awkward person who bumbles about with all thumbs and two left feet, but I've definitely found myself in enough awkward situations to blog about it. My life definitely doesn't lack any face-palm action. I've always just hoped that enough people would find it charming rather than cumbersome.

Being asked, "What's up?" and responding, "Good, you?"
Or the other way around.
"How's it going?" ... "Not much, you?"

My favourite, or least favourite as I'm not even sure how to categorize this one, is when you're telling a somewhat offensive joke to someone and halfway through you realize that this person is actually definitely going to be offended. So, you stop halfway through. "Uh, I forget the punchline actually. Forget it. I'll just screw it up."

(Awkward / nice save)

Sure, inside, I feel like my bones want to crawl out of my skin, run away and hide - but on the exterior I manage to remain pretty composed. I chalk it up to being pro. I don't know if it's something that deserves bragging rights, but I guess I have enough experience at being awkward that I'm now pro at masking it.
Go Dana!

But yesterday. Oh, yesterday.

There isn't a big enough " :| " in the world..
I was standing in line at the bank and decided to rummage through my purse for my cell phone and check my e-mails as I waited, you know? Nothing out of the norm. But, because I have clumsy fingers, as I grabbed my phone I managed to press on the YouTube icon as well as "Play" and, at high volume, this happened:

Just to explain, it's a clip from a demented TV show, Wonder Showzen, that my fella and I had been watching and giggling at the day before.

Talk about having egg on your face.

I'm pretty sure that took the proverbial cake as far as awkward moments go :|

Edit:
Low and behold, I have something to add here. Something awkward happened today on my lunch break (thumbs up!)
As I was exiting the grocery store I threw my garbage in what I suspected was a garbage bin only to discover, as I got closer to it, that it was actually a donations bin. I noticed when my hand was literally in mid air to pitch my garbage, so instead of doing some awkward mid-air catch that would have inevitably turned into a bad dance move, I went with it in hopes that no one was watching. Unfortunately, I could feel the glares crawling up my back. I actually started whistling as I headed out towards the parking lot in an effort to seem casual, which just furthered the awkward because...ready? I can't whistle!

Oh well. Maybe my junk can be someone else's treasure? Hahanervouslaughhahaha.